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How to Be the Most Boring Writer on Medium
Hello everyone, my name is Nour; I'm 36 years old, and I live in Istanbul; I love to paint, walk in the garden early in the morning, listen to slow music, and write for one hour daily.
Today I will share my five tips on being the most boring writer on Medium; my first tip of this beautiful day is to not bore your audience with things they don't give a crap about at the beginning of your article. My extraordinary tip number two is don't bore your audience with ordinary stories. Would you like to hear my other three tips?
Boooooooo, shut up and fuck off the stage, you freaky boring idiot. Let's change the guy, shall we?
Sexy ladies and desperate gentlemen, welcome to our exciting nightclub of plant Medium©™. We here offer you lust, desire, and entertainment at the reach of your fingertips.
I don't have to remind you that it's 2022, and a writer should work their butt off to compete with Porn sites, Netflix, TikTok, Instagram, and Disney Plus. Today and more than ever, people are bored with generic shit; people now look for the joy of reading humourous, exciting, bold, and creative content.
Most people suffer from financial pressure and struggle with pains and undesired dramas in their real life; they come to the Internet to find a way out of their reality and make them…