You lived a rough experience, but let me tell you, that is not someone living a wonderful life. It's a life of desperation. The issue is that what might look to some like a way of good living can be a result of internal problems that someone suffers with on the inside. I'm not saying what he did is right. I'm just clarifying that the "fun" life isn't always the result of someone having peaceful fun but rather an act for something they are hungry for and will never feel satisfied with, no matter how much they acquire, like sex, drugs, or whatever it is.